Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Girl Dies Of Broken Heart After Pet Chicken Is Killed

"She would sit for hours caressing the chicken, which grew into a sleek and pretty rooster as ever lived, and which formed an affection for its mistress truly wonderful. And thus the pair lived until three weeks ago when the chicken was killed by a dog. Since that time the girl grew languid, nervous, and disheartened, and finally last week she died with a broken heart." - from "Girl Dies Of Broken Heart After Pet Chicken Is Killed," La Crosse Democrat (August 22, 1864).

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Cows Bark Like Dogs

"A peculiar disease is reported to be afflicting cattle in the northern part of Burnett County. They bark and snap like dogs." - "Cows Bark Like Dogs," Milwaukee Journal (September 4, 1900).

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Turtle In Stomach

"A snapping turtle, three inches long from the tip of the tail to the tip of the nose, was vomited by a man who came to Dr. J. H. Noble complaining of pains. He supposed the patient swallowed the turtle when it was very small." - "Turtle In Stomach," Milwaukee Journal (June 5, 1901).

Monday, April 16, 2012

Saves Teeth Of The Dead

"Just prior to placing the body in the casket, Mrs. Kramer asked that her husband's false teeth be removed, as she would soon be obliged to purchase a set. Her request was complied with and Mrs. Kramer arrived in Janesville last week with her husband's full set of plates. She called upon Dr. Burros informing him that she desired to have them remade to fit her, and the request was soon granted. When the little woman of sixty years left the dental office she hoped that the teeth would make her thirty years younger as she intended soon again to enter the matrimonial class." from "Saves Teeth Of The Dead," Eau Claire Leader (May 21, 1907).

Friday, April 13, 2012

Took Books While Irresponsible

"Dr. R. G. Thwaltes, secretary of the Wisconsin historical library, has received a letter from a young woman, a former student at the state university, admitting that she carried away about 200 state and university library books found in boxes stored in her name at the Sumner & Morris warehouse. She says she took the books while under influence of a drug prescribed for her by a physician." - from "Took Books While Irresponsible," Stevens Point Daily Journal (August 18, 1906).

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Shot Firecrackers To Scare Away Goblins

"A man with delirium tremens was taken into custody today. He was trying to shoot firecrackers to scare away goblins. He thought they were blockading the street car tracks." - "Shot Firecrackers To Scare Away Goblins," Milwaukee Journal (January 7, 1902).

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Religious Books Cause Insanity

"Constant reading of religious books is said to have caused Alex Sherburn to become insane and taken to Mendota asylum. He had many times asked friends to converse with angels. The young man has no relatives in this country." - Religious Books Cause Insanity, Eau Claire Leader (November 29, 1905).

Friday, March 30, 2012

Tramp Sinks Into Earth

"Mrs. Bice could not see the fellow during this time as they were on opposite sides of the carpet. Suddenly the man was heard to exclaim "Poor Reddy is gone this time." When Mrs. Bice stepped around the carpet she discovered that the tramp had sunk into the earth almost up to his chin, with the earth rapidly closing in on him. Mrs. Bice immediately summoned aid, and it required the combined efforts of four men to extricate the unfortunate "Reddy," who was more dead than alive." - from "Tramp Sinks Into Earth," La Crosse Republican Leader (April 24, 1897).

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Preacher Falsely Predicts End Of La Crosse

""These," he continued, "represent 300 communications which I have received from the spirit world since last Sunday, and they all bear on the subject of this coming woe. Here you see a terrible looking serpent and here another; there is a flower; and here are some awful discharges in the heavens. This represents a storm - let's see - yes, a rain storm, as you see written in the hand of the spirit. This collection of lines represents wind - a cyclone; see how they all run to a common head? There you have a ladder and an angel climbing it; here is a cross; here are more serpents, etc." Drawings of a bow of crepe, a calla lily, a rose, comets, a heart pierced with a key, a cave, a bird of paradise, and other known and unknown objects followed one after the other in the weird procession until the reporter grew weary." - from "Preacher Falsely Predicts End Of La Crosse," La Crosse Daily Press (March 9, 1894).

Monday, March 26, 2012

Thought End Of World Had Come

"A strange light in the northern skies, taking the shape of a comet, then various fanciful outlines the other evening made the superstitious people of this village believe the end of the world was at hand. Several families spent the night in chairs with wraps on, in fear of the phenomenon. In the morning it was discovered that the cause was a fire in Hustisford." - "Thought End Of World Had Come," La Crosse Tribune (March 19, 1908).

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Hobo Sells Wearing Apparel to Get Fire Water

"This morning the chief redeemed the man's shoes and after partaking of a hearty breakfast Wilson was given a ride to the city limits with orders to keep moving, which in view of the weather was unnecessary, and never to return. He was last seen headed toward the equator." -from "Hobo Sells Wearing Apparel to Get Fire Water, " Stevens Point Daily Journal (December 11, 1912).

Thursday, March 22, 2012

You are the stupid one!

 "Ayer's Liver Pills" advertisement, The Racine Daily Journal (December 17, 1904).

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Problem Unsolved But Man Is Crazy

"Algebra and the fourth dimension problem is said to be responsible for the insanity of Theodore Sprecht, a carpenter who, since a recent debate on the fourth dimension, has spent his time trying to solve the problem." - "Problem Unsolved But Man Is Crazy," Janesville Daily Gazette (August 17, 1910).

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Woman Vomits Up Live Lizard

"Mrs. Marshall has been bothered for some time by a severe pain in her stomach and yesterday she complained more than ever, so her daughter prepared a drink for her, made mostly of jamaica ginger and gin. The beverage must have loosened the lizard, which was evidently attached to the lining of Mary's stomach, and yesterday afternoon she vomited up the object. She claims that it was alive when it came out her mouth but that she accidentally smothered it when she gathered it up in a handkerchief." - from "Woman Vomits Up Live Lizard," La Crosse Republican Leader (July 7, 1902).

Monday, March 19, 2012

A False Report

""James Mulligan of Iola, Wis., narrowly escaped being buried alive Thursday. The funeral procession was slowly wending its way to the church when the driver of the hearse heard groans from within, following by smashing of glass. The casket was opened and Mulligan, fully restored to consciousness, sat up and began to inquire where he was. He had been in a trance for three days." The above appeared in city paper last week dated from Loyal. The postmaster at Iola has since published a statement to the effect that no such occurence has been heard of in his town." - "A False Report", The Marshfield Times (March 2, 1906).

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Chief Shoots Circus Employe

"Chief of Police English shot an employe of the Barnum & Bailey circus, who attempted to escape after being arrested. A number of Menomonie, Mich, men and a gang of circus employes became involved in a free-for-all fight. The chief arrested the leader of the circus gang. The latter's followers then jumped upon the chief, and the prisoner escaped. The chief shot him twice and wounded him in the head. The prisoner rolled under a tent and got away." - "Chief Shoots Circus Employe," The New North, Rhinelander (August 15, 1907).

Friday, March 16, 2012

Arraigns Circus

"It turns the head of the old and young. Here in this magazine is the story of a boy, Jim Dudley was his name, the circus came to his town, his "daddy" rented the show lot, and when the show left, Jim Dudley went with it. Mothers, fathers, is that the ideal you have for your son? Is you boy or girl to leave home and mingle with the vice and crime that is the normal life of the hundreds of so-called artists, who compose the circus crew, may God forbid. Would Jesus go to the circus?" - from "Arraigns Circus: Sermon Given By Rev. Thes. W. Gales," The New North, Rhinelander (August 1, 1907).

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Woman Firebug Defies Police

"A firebug, supposed to be a woman, who has been setting fires in every part of the city for the past four weeks, has scored her twentieth blaze, and the losses will run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Citizens are forming posses to aid the police in a search for the woman, and several hot chases have resulted, but in each instance the woman has jumped fences and dodged through alleys as though a man in woman's garb." - "Woman Firebug Defies Police," The Marshfield Times (November 17, 1905).

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

He Talks To Ghosts

""The world is full of ghosts. I am not afraid of 'em. I like to talk to 'em. I can see and talk with the people who live in the sun, the moon, and the stars. They are disembodied spirits." August Siebner, aged 51, walked into the county jail yesterday afternoon and made this strange assertion. This morning it was ascertained that he is an upholsterer at Waukesha who had wandered away from home. Dr. A.F. Young, county physician, has pronounced him insane." - "He Talks To Ghosts," Milwaukee Journal (January 10, 1908).

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Allen Gets Ten Years In Pen At Hard Labor

"But a few months ago, Dr. Allen, healer, clairvoyant and practiser of many strange and mystic arts, was a free man, cunning, bold and full of confidence that he could evade the penalties of evil doing. He even boasted of his escapades in the past and freely avowed that he could go even farther in the defiance of the law and remain unscathed. "The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small," and Dr. Allen finally came between the stones that left him a broken man." from "Allen Gets Ten Years In Pen At Hard Labor," The La Crosse Tribune (November 16, 1912).

Friday, March 9, 2012

Streetcar Hit by Train as Motorist Gawks at Woman

"Turning his back to the observation window to watch Miss Altha Hemphill, who had just stepped from his streetcar in the 1700 block of Market Street, Motorman Frank Werner was too occupied to notice this morning that his streetcar and an approaching Green Bay & Western work train were on a collision course. The shriek of the train's whistle was not sufficient to draw Werner's attention from Miss Hemphill, and an instant later there was a crash which aroused people for blocks around." - from "Streetcar Hit By Train As Motorist Gawks At Woman," La Crosse Leader Press (April 21, 1908).

Thursday, March 8, 2012

They Were Introduced to the Skeleton

"Last Saturday night according to the usual custom the seniors entertained the juniors at a Hallowe'en party. The juniors were taken one by one, with two sheeted spectres for guides, down to the door to Hades. They were then ushered into the presence of his infernal majesty and received their condemnation. With trembling the juniors passed to the "ghost room'' where they were introduced to the skeleton and received an electric shock from a concealed battery." - from "Normal Notes," Stevens Point Daily Journal (Nov. 7, 1903).

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Chicken Has Human Face

"The hen has no bill whatsoever, but in it place is a perfectly formed nose. Beneath the nostrils is a mouth and chin, but in place the feathers lay parted and perfectly smooth. The cheeks are puffy, but rosily red. The hen was purchased by Mr. Johnson who sent it to a taxidermist in Chicago, where it was mounted. He has received an offer of $50 for the freak, but declines it." - from "Chicken Has Human Face," Eau Claire Leader (January 12, 1908).

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Insane From Cigarettes

"A young man giving his name as C.G. McAllister, whose deranged mental state it is said is caused from the excessive use of cigarettes, has been taken to the insane asylum. The skin of his hands and face have assumed a yellowish color. He came here as a tramp and was poorly dressed." - "Insane from Cigarettes," Milwaukee Journal (April 21, 1902).

Monday, March 5, 2012

Toads Tumble From Sky

"Captain Moulton, being placed upon the rack by a reporter, duly testified and said that he was on a platform adjoining the depot and saw the toads fall from the sky. Not only did he see them as they struck the platform, but also saw them in the air before they reached the end of their aerial flight. This is good testimony, and we submit it." - from "Toads Tumble From Sky," La Crosse Republican Leader (July 12, 1878).

Friday, March 2, 2012

Claims He Swapped Water, Cookies with 'Spacemen'

"Out of a hatch that opened popped one man dressed in a black suit who held up a jug and indicated that he wanted it filled with water. There were two other men inside the saucer. Simonton filled the jug with water and gave it to the man who remained outside the ship. One of the saucer trio then gave him three cakes, about one-eighth inch think and three or four inches in diameter. The man got into the ship with the jug of water, the hatch snapped shut and it took off. Simonton said the ship had exhaust pipes six or seven inches in diameter." - from "Claims He Swapped Water, Cookies with 'Spacemen,'" The Sheboygan Press (April 24, 1961).

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Hand Organ is Torture to Ears

"They will play more tunes for nothing than any people we ever saw. They locate in front of a house and the man begins to turn the hand organ, which plays eight tunes, while the woman leans against a tree and goes to sleep. The man shuts his eyes and grinds through all eight tunes whether there is anybody in the house or not. Last night they stopped at one house that has been empty for three weeks, the family having gone to a watering place. The house cat had to stand it all, and we never felt so sorry for a cat in all the world." - from "Hand Organ is Torture to Ears," La Crosse Liberal Democrat (July 26, 1873).

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Crow Accompanies Mailman on Route

"Jack is the busiest bird in town. When she isn't engaged in assisting with the delivery of the mail she keeps the yard at home cleared of strange children and drives away dogs, for which she has no fondness. If children come inside the gate, she runs at them with outstretched wings, flapping like a windmill, and pecks their legs all the time barking for all the world like a little pug dog." - from "Crow Accompanies Mailman on Route," La Crosse Republican Leader (May 24, 1898).